Yoda could use the Force to lift
Titanic out of the water.
Leia is a princess, a senator,
a freedom fighter, and Jedi material; Rose is just marriage bait.
Ewoks throw better parties than
either first class or steerage.
When flying towards the Titanic,
Wedge can't say 'Look at the size of that thing!' and really mean it.
It would be much scarier to get
chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed
to a handgun.
Titanic is egalitarian by portraying
poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting
bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.
Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral
manages NOT to lose his ship.
We know Cal is the bad guy because
he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth
Vader is the bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for
fun.
Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he
fly an X-wing?
People have not lost their lives
trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.
Rose braves icy water to rescue
her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hut.
Two words: John Williams.
There are always enough escape
pods in Star Wars.
Do you know what the Empire does
to self-proclaimed 'kings of the world'?
If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe
below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
'I'd rather be his whore than your
wife' just doesn't have the same sting as 'I'd rather kiss a Wookie.'
Han is frozen in carbonite and
turned into a wall ornament. (when thawed he lives) Leo simply freezes.
We knew the boat was gonna sink.
But who could've anticipated 'Luke...I am your father'?